I’m writing this as the last and final post of the Dating Dowser blog. Well, it’s the last to my current, conscious knowledge. Goodness knows, anything can happen.

I still love writing and I still love Love, but I fell out of love with writing about  “looking for love.” Again, anything can happen, I even fell out of love with New York City in 2006, now I’m positively pining away for a visit after a 3 year hiatus.

I’m back in love with painting. Such are the fickle fashions of an artist with fiery and airy predilections. But I just can’t tell you how wonderful it feels. Anyway, I’m sure you can imagine, having the vast capacity for wonderfulness that you must.

I’ve so appreciated everyone’s wonderful support and praise for the dating dowser endeavor and my blog here. Huge thanks to everyone who reached out to me and to the clients who have let me peer into the ethers for them.

Now, in the coming however-long-it-takes I will be redesigning this website for my fine art and whatever other fancies may strike me along the way [dancing holds a lot of my attention these days, too. Ahh, DANCE! (imagine Will Ferrel saying that)]. I’m getting really excited and inspired by the crystalline clarity and simplicity of sites like www.romeyandremus.com. And by the glorious word smithing of writers like Margaret Atwood and Tama Kieves.

I’m reading This Time I Dance! right now, and let me tell you, it’s so inviting and vast and urgent (for me, in any case), if I had my way, this book would rain down on everyone, and you’d need to get under the nearest  striped awning because it would be the purple hardback copy with the ecstatic watercolour dancer on the cover.

All literary maelstroms aside, I’d love it if you’d come over to my Facebook Artist page, click Like, and say hello there. That will be my base of operation till this site gets its sure-to-be tastefully fabulous makeover.

If you’re looking to check out a local health-savvy singles event, message me over on Facebook and we’ll go to the Whole Foods Market Capitola Singles Night on Feb. 10th from 7pm-10pm. In any case there’s sure to be free samples on toothpicks.

Much love,

Claire

In the September 2010 issue of Vanity Fair, Lady Gaga told contributing editor Lisa Robinson that she tries to avoid having sex because she is afraid of depleting her creative energy—“I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina.” (See a summary of that fab interview here).

It ain’t so weird, honey! The second chakra is a major site of your energies related to your sexuality, creativity, and emotions. Unseen exchanges happen consistently between your energy systems and those of the people you interact with. The second chakra is especially active in every day interactions for many people because of the foundational focus on attraction, sensuality, sexuality and pleasure that we experience as human beings (whether it’s conscious or unconscious).

Knowing what I now know about these sorts of energetic exchanges, I’d say that Lady Gaga is really wise to be wary of who comes into close contact with her second chakra-ra!

How do I know about this, you ask? How can you learn more? Well, let me tell you! For several months now, I have been working with an amazing local practitioner Named Nick Firkus.

Nick is a clairvoyant energy worker who has studied diverse lineages such as martial arts (particularly Aikido), shamanism, Chinese medicine, transpersonal psychology and the work of Barbara Brennan.

When Nick works with his clients, he scans them energetically and creates what he calls a map of their “totality of being.” He describes most of the energy systems that are active for people as resembling a mixture between plant life (beautiful flowers or gnarly weeds… some with deep tangled roots, others more shallow) and computer program coding. For a healer with such a complex understanding and systems for healing, working with Nick is truly surprisingly fun and EFFECTIVE.

Much of his work involves the use of mudras, or ancient hand postures that create certain energetic dynamics. I hadn’t had much experience with mudras, besides knowing that they looked cool on sculptures of Buddha. I definitely had my doubts, but found using the use of the mudras as prescribed by Nick to produce very pronounced and noticeable results. I don’t know about you, but I’m really into that.

After years of having “worked on” myself on many levels with a mixed bag of results, and sometimes wondering if I was getting anywhere at all, it has been SO refreshing and rewarding to work with a practitioner and see so many wonderful shifts in my internal and external experiences. I couldn’t wait to share his work with you, dear readers!

Of course, some items take longer to work on than others, but if you have any kind of ongoing issue, whether expressed as physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual, I highly recommend a consultation with Nick. He has a reasonable sliding scale pricing policy, and can also work with you over the phone. You can contact him via Facebook here.

As I mentioned above, I’ve learned SO much about the “energetic architecture,”as Nick calls it, that relates to attraction, flirtation, and dating. I‘m SO grateful to Nick for sharing this insight with me, and I’m also thrilled to be sharing some really cool and really effective practices that involve the second chakra in my class Become a Man Magnet.

I’ll be teaching my class this Wednesday, June 8th at 7pm at Mountain Spirit in Felton. If you’re interested in attracting just the right kind of man for you, come join us!!

xo

Claire

(The camera comes around the corner of a dark slate brick fire place. I’m absorbed in the wisdom bestowed upon me by the tools of my trade, a pendulum and dowsing board. The reflected flames flicker and dance hypnotically upon my face. Then, I look up. I the camera, I feign surprise, but smile placidly. Think Masterpiece Theater).

Oh, it’s you,… well, hello there. Welcome! Have a seat. I have so much to tell you. Indeed, it’s been a while since I’ve written – but not because of any lack of noteworthy goings on, I assure you!

Let’s see, where to begin? I’ve been dating, of course. I’ve been right out there on the proverbial front lines, just as one would expect, and well, I’ve been shot down. Unimaginable. I know! Or… I shot myself down or something equally mortifying. I don’t even know, I just know that I met someone I really liked, and I got ALL CRAZY.  ‘Has he e-mailed? No? NO??!!! Are you sure? Are you quite sure, gmail?? (refresh… refresh, refresh, check, check, double-check! –Check the trash, just in case! You never know!!)’ For a while after the smoke cleared, I seemed to stagger around in a daze, wondering… How someone help women “Take the Crazy out of Dating” when they themselves are clearly nutters?? It was a blow to the ole content-identified story of myself, fer shizzle.

Thank god for my amazing friends who happen to be Life Coaches, who told me, ‘We’re LIFE coaches… but do you think that our whole lives are nice, neat, Pollyanna perfect all the time? No, of course not. And it’s the way you handle that imperfection, and bring it back to your work that gives you your own unique and rich perspective. It creates compassion.’ That helped to salve my wounds.

I’m not a Perfect, I just play one on TV. It’s true though, my clients tell me that they love my sessions in part because I’m in the same boat. Though my intuitive abilities allow me to help them find their blockages and get through them; in my personal life, I’m doing my best to stay in alignment with my higher-self, hang onto my sanity, and keep a sense of humor while I study both splendor and devastation the school of love. I still have that burning desire to learn more and understand more that leads to me to read wonderful books on things like the psychobiology and physiology of Love.

This self-love and intuitive alignment thing is no mean task. I’m just so grateful for the expert assistance of my super star energy worker friends, and fellow relationship coaches. –Especially since doing readings for one’s self in an agitated state isn’t always exactly the most unbiased and accurate thing in the world. ‘What’s that? He LOVES me? He’s pining away for me RIGHT NOW?’ (My arm wildly and violently swinging poor pendy toward the ever-coveted YES).

One practitioner I’ve been working with has had a particularly AMAZING effect on my life. He does a lot of work with client’s “energetic architecture” including their chakras. –More about him, and about the Man Magnet chakra connection in my next blog!

Ultimately, I managed to keep my chin up through my temporary throwback to dating madness, and also keep my appearance several notches above distraught and disheveled (never a good look). I even taught my first class in LA at Mystic Journey Bookshop, which went marvelously. There was a fabulous group of burgeoning Man Magnet ladies, and even one ultra-brave and manly man.

For those of you in the Santa Cruz area, I’ll be teaching my class, “Become a Man Magnet” again at Mountain Spirit in Felton. The class will be from 7-9:00pm on Wednesday, June 8th, $20.00. If you haven’t visited that shop yet, it’s really lovely. Full of gorgeous stones, great second-hand books, and even a pendulum or two… ((yesssss!))

You’ll definitely want to check out my class if you answer yes to these:

• Do you want more attention from exactly the type of men you are interested in?

• Would you like to know without a doubt that you can have the relationship you desire most?
• Do you want to know how to create that special glow that lights up a room?

• Are you ready to find out what is blocking you from your natural magnetic state and how you can move past it?

So come make a night of it in Felton. Chop Stix or Don Quixote’s for dinner… Learn to turn on your natural inner Man Magnet-ness at Mountain Spirit with me, and then go try out your skills at Monte’s Log Cabin!! No? Not so much? They have a KILLER jukebox.  Ok, just the first two.

Love,

Claire

Greetings from the Santa Cruz Mountains where we FINALLY had an absolutely glorious, gorgeous, warm, sunny day after literally weeks of rain.  I actually did a bit of the ole sunbathing the past two days. Vitamin D is essential to your health, and sunshine is essential to my sanity–that’s fer sure!

All emotional meteorology aside, great excitement and jubilation is afoot, because I will be teaching my two-hour workshop, “Become a Man Magnet!” in LA on Monday, April 18th. The class will take place from 7-9pm at Mystic Journey Bookstore on Abbot Kinney Blvd in Venice. I’ll be taking participants through my 3 Essentials Steps to attract more of exactly the kind of attention you want from men, and everyone will get a personalized mini-reading from me! The charge is for the class is $20, and you can RSVP by calling at 310.399.7070. Tell your fabulous LA friends, too!

I’m so excited to share this blog with you today. When I was last down in Los Angeles, I had the supreme delight of meeting with The Hollywood Dating Director, Cherry Norris, to interview her. Her work has had a big impact on me, as I mentioned when I shared her Six Second Smile technique for meeting men. My interest was particularly piqued by her personal story about how she met her husband while on a sailboat in the Mediterranean (…a situation that is just right up my alley). So I’m thrilled to report that Cherry was every bit as wonderful as I had hoped for in person, and to share more about her story and her wonderful work in this interview. Cherry’s also sharing an awesome FREE bonus with us, that can really change the way you date and the results you get. Read on….

Claire K. Stringer: Cherry, what were you doing before you became a dating and relationship coach?

Cherry Norris: I came from a background in theater and acting as well as marketing. I moved to LA with the dream of becoming an Executive Producer and I studied producing, screenwriting and directing at UCLA. However, while working as an Executive Producer, I realized that I was enjoying professional success, but not personal success in love relationships. My approach to men and dating was not getting the desired results, to put it mildly.

CKS: So, what happened for you? Was there a pivotal moment when you decided you had to make a change?

CN: I was in a dating relationship with a man that was just making me crazy. I had gotten to a point of crisis, and I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong. Why did this keep happening for me? Thankfully, some friends of mine had been working with a relationship specialist that they highly recommended. I had just a 15min consultation with her on the phone, and it CHANGED MY LIFE! She said to me, ‘In this relationship, you are being the Big Man and so, he’s the Little Lady…’ that’s when I began to realize how much there was for me to learn about masculine and feminine dynamics.

CKS: Whoa, I know how daunting it can be to face that realization! What gave you the motivation and dedication to make a real change for yourself?

CN: Well, I had a burning desire to figure it out. I wanted to know how I could finally have a fantastic relationship that lasted, and brought real commitment from both people. That passion lead me to study with that same relationship expert for a total of about twelve years, diving into male-female relationships, courtship and communication. During that time, I was touring the Mediterranean by sailboat while doing research for the follow-up to my first film, Duty Dating. On the boat, I met a really handsome Italian man who matched just about everything I had asked for in my vision of my life partner.

CKS: And that was Lorenzo, your now-husband. Did you put all that you had learned to work immediately?

CN: You bet I did! And that made all the difference. When my friends saw how much success I was having with this relationship, and how happy Lorenzo and I were, they said, “You have got to teach this stuff!” And that’s how I started my work as the Hollywood Dating Director, helping women “Star in Their Own Love Story.” I guide clients through everything they need to define their relationship right away, prepare themselves for true love, and know exactly what to say when faced with tough dating situations. And I talk about all of those things in my Free Multimedia Report that I’m offering your readers.

CKS: I’m SO glad that you are sharing this with us. This report really has helped me become the Man Magnet I am today, and have much more confidence negotiating dating situations. I do have a question, though. You talk about taking it up a notch, and consciously dressing just a little bit more feminine or sexy than you normally would when you go out for the evening, or especially out on a date. Why is that important?

CN: Quite simply, men are very visual creatures when it comes to attraction. When you are putting yourself out there on the market, you are going to get much more response from men in a form-fitting silhouette and some nice heels than in your favorite sweats, or even some slacks with flats.

CKS: That makes sense. Ok, so you are lookin’ hot, you see a cute guy, and you want to bust out a can of Six Second Smile. But what if you’re shy… that can seem like a dang long time. Any suggestions to make it easier?

CN: Just practice SMILING. Smile at everyone – even at old folks, dogs, everyone! You’ll notice that people will have a positive reaction. They’ll give you free stuff, bump you up to upgrades in restaurants, hotels, and planes. When you’re already smiling at everything and everyone, it’s easy to transition into smiling at a cute guy.

CKS: Ooh, I love that idea. And I love getting free perks with it, too. Some of us might need the additional incentive to put ourselves out there. I also talk a lot to my clients about what is going on with them internally in terms of creating their ideal relationship. I especially focus on the importance of self-love. What role to you think self-love and recognizing your own worth as a woman plays?

CN: It’s EVERYTHING! it’s the basis from which everything is created. Unfortunately, self-love is very hard to teach. You can give examples and do demonstrations. But ultimately, it requires a personal turning point. If you are in a negative situation that has come from low self-worth, you have to say to yourself, “I will not accept this any longer, and if it doesn’t work for me, I’m not going to do it!!” You have to keep that attitude through every stage of relationships. Self-love is your very emotional SURVIVAL. When you know you know your innate value, you are the core of your being. And no matter what life hands you, you can survive everything.

CKS: SO true, Sistah!! Thank you So much for sharing your wisdom, Cherry.

If you want to find out how to Define your Role, Set the Stage, and Speak Your Part in your very own love story, go Here now, and grab Cherry’s free report!

xo

Claire

Guess what! You can now subscribe and receive an email to let you know when I’ve posted a new blog. I post about once a week. Just scroll down to “Pages” on the right hand side and click “Sign Up for My Newsletter.”

You know, dear reader, that I work tirelessly for you, don’t you? I do, indeed. The field of dating requires constant exploration, evaluation, and lazer-focused research.

This is why, the other night when best friend, blogger and photographer Joye Barnes suggested that we check out that gorgeous new restaurant Laili on Cooper Street and do a hot tub/sauna afterward, I drew a deep breath, released it slowly, took a long look within my soul and said… “Ok. I’ll do it for my readers.” My selflessness knows no bounds!

You see, I had the incredible foresight to realize that this itinerary would translate to a potentially fantastic date. I can’t guarantee an “Oh my god!” perfect date because like, I don’t know who you are planning on taking, ok? But I’m doing my part. And I’m going to caution you to choose wisely, ’cause this is a good one, and you don’t wanna waste it on just anyone. Also, it’s a bit of an investment. But played correctly, it could be a real showstopper. … A real Rod Stewart “Tonight’s The Night” sort of evening.

I’m also going to suggest that you save this Dating Dowser Date for maybe the fourth date or beyond. Why? Because, well, you will be naked! I think it’s a great idea to have established an actual foundation of intimacy before you arrive at that moment where you are disrobing together on a cold tile floor and entering a hot tub with nothing but what god gave you. Trust me, I have endured a premature hot spring experience, and it was borderline traumatic. I suppose you could wear swim suits. Does anyone do that? Not in Santa Cruz, I bet. Feel free to comment back about that one. Seems to work for Rod, though.

Laili opened mid-september of 2010 (read the Sentinel review here). But the first time I feasted my eyes on it, I could have sworn it materialized quietly out of nothingness, because I can’t for the life of me recall what used to be in that space on Cooper between Pacific and Front. It matters not, because the restaurant is such a welcome addition, with arched windows lined with simple clear bulbs, subdued lighting, and a central table for a wait station, glittering with stemware and flatware. It embodies the height of minimal chic, and I assure you, if you suggest this place for a date, you will have, “I have taste,” written all over you in the best way possible.

If your date asks you, “What kind of food is it?” You’ll simply want to reply, “Laili aims to bring the age-old flavors and traditions of the Silk Road to life…..by creating a positive and relaxing ambiance with a culturally rich and flavorful dining experience.” (Script available on their site). And know in your own mind that it’s kinda Mediterranean. The portions were conservative, yet filling. The quality, preparation and seasonings were impeccable, particularly on the lemon trout. Dinner entrees range from $13 to $19.

Joye and I shared the chocolate creme and fresh mint leaf tea for dessert. The creme was like a hot pudding with a crust on top that provided just enough resistance to your spoon to make it extra tantalizing. The waitress was very attentive and brought the check over promptly after we mentioned needing to be somewhere at a certain time. We closed the tab in a dreamy post-chocolate state and headed over to the Tea House Spa on Elm Street.

We were greeted warmly there, served more tea, and shown to room number two, which has a shower, sauna, hot tub, and generous window looking out onto their 50 year-old bamboo grove with its stone pagoda. We showered and sank into the tub… deep relaxation commenced.

All told, the evening cost about $75.00, and was SO worth it.

I highly recommend the dinner and spa combo when you’re ready to take your dates up a notch. What happens afterward is up to you, but why not take a lesson from “Rod the Bod’ himself? (Were the 70s just generally a more romantic and erotic time? I don’t see this kind of action in videos these days. It’s all about bending over and sticking it out. Not that I don’t love Ludacris, but nothing makes me swoon quite like the image of removing a rose from Rod Stuart’s pants. Symbolism much?? Deep stuff.) Watch the video Here.

xo

Claire

Good morning on this gray, rainy Valentine’s day in Santa Cruz. I just finished opening a really touching valentine from my mom, and what I thought would be one from my sister, but was actually a christening invitation for my niece.  Which is cool, cause it abates my sense of guilt a bit for having not sent out a single valentine this year, despite my focus on fervently working to increase love and pleasure in this world of ours in my work. Oops!

Let’s not gloss over the multi-faceted reality of this much-touted holiday that some say was purely an invention by Hallmark and Hershey’s. I personally have historically had a rather love/hate relationship with it myself.  I cherish a chance to show love to the special people in my life. And while I adore the old-fashioned notions of being asked to be someone’s Valentine and receiving love notes on lace doilies and chocolate and roses more than words can say…. the contrasting let down of not receiving bushels of such things (or any at all) can be quite the bummer for us single ladies, right?

Valentine’s Day tends to focus a prying flashlight onto our love and dating lives, which may currently feel more like the underneath of a rock where little things scuttle and hide from the glare. I was brandishing such a torch on my own love life the other day… absently falling into the trap of thinking, “Well, another Valentine’s and I’m single, waanh, waanh,” etc. But then I remembered last year.

I was in a relationship with a guy I really loved, and he really love me too. But he was younger and clearly required some, um… coaching (read: coaxing), around Valentine’s Day and gift-giving and all that. Truly, it was like pulling teeth just to get him to go SOMEWHERE and do SOMETHING for Valentine’s. I tried my best to convey that it was not about how much money was spent, but about creating a feeling of specialness and celebrating our love in whatever ways seemed fun to us. Still, he dragged his feet about the whole affair and, I ended up scrambling to make some kind of suitable plan for us, and honestly was not too pleased about it. Ultimately, whole thing felt forced.

So, reflecting on that helped me remember that being single and focusing on manifesting an ideal partner can be a lot more fun and relaxing than trying to force something with someone who is not really on the same page. Yay for that!

Someone else who knows about the pain that comes from letting go of romantic fantasies is that unparalleled diva of song and fashion, Gwen Stefani. As I mentioned in my earlier post, I’ve been thinking about her a lot. I’m not sure what caused it, but I’ve been having a big No Doubt revival over here on my personal Youtube channel. I marvel at the cheesiness of the 90s rock, third wave ska, campy videos even as I loose myself in the ultra-catchy qualities of the beats and, thoughtful heart-tugging lyrics. It soothes the soul.

The first time I saw Gwen, I was about 17. I had caught mono from kissing one of the more “popular” boys from high school who was hilarious and so cute and drove a Z. He he and his friends also verged into the territory of that amazing hybrid, the redneck pot-head, and were perhaps just a touch racist. I managed to overlook that for a couple weeks, riding high on that, “OH MY GOD, HE LIKES ME!” rush. He dumped me after I got grounded for forgetting to have Christmas with my father whilst making out with him awkwardly on his bed. Afterward, he would merely give me a stiff-jawed up-nod when passing me in the hall. SO Devastating.

Heart-rending devastation and mono-induced haze aside, I managed to make it out to see No Doubt when they were on tour with Bush with my ever-awesome older Sister. As Gwen jumped and sprang and gyrated and sang all over the stage, I feasted my eyes on her high platinum ponytail and her “dancin abs,” as we call them in Jazzercise. I didn’t know if I wanted to be her or make sweet love to her, or both, which could be a crazy, existential Being John Malcovich moment, but I was open to it. (Or I would have been, had the movie existed back then.)

Fast forward to about 2003. I was working in the often-quiet sequestered Marc by Marc Jacobs boutique of Bergdorf Goodman’s fifth floor in New York City. The No Doubt album Rock Steady was in heavy rotation and I had ample time to contemplate Gwen’s relationship with Gavin R, and project my opinions onto it. I must say, I really had my doubts about the longevity of their marriage. I had the general impression that he was a slacker, and she was doing all the work, bringing home all the bacon, and you know… just wanted a little respect, a little romance and a few babies for her effort. Was that So much to ask, Gavin?? I used to stand around thinking… ditch him girl, you’re the star, you’re better off without him.

But nowadays she’s finally got those much-coveted babies while still being an uber-star and designer, and it seems like their marriage has stood the test of time, unlike so many celeb link-ups. I’m so proud of you, Gweny.

On this day of aggressively forced notions of diamond-giving and flower-receiving, I like to look back and admire Gwen for having always had the courage to put her true self out there creatively and romantically. Even pre-Gavin she kept it real for all the other single sisters to admire by boldly admitting that she wanted a life partner and sometimes even hoped she’d get “accidentally” knocked-up so she could get the whole nesting ball rolling. While I certainly don’t espouse entrapment–that took ovaries, Gwen!

Watch this video and look for the ultra-camp blinking birth control pack on the wall. While you watch, remember that being true to yourself really is one of life’s greatest blessings, and that just as Gwen found, the right partner is out there for you to manifest your creepy multiple rows of wedding cake/finding baby in cemetery dreams with!!

That’s Valentine’s Survival 101.

xo

PS: Remember if you’re really down for true love this year and more awesome dating and relationships, the Ultimate Soulmate Summit starts today! You can still register here!

Valentine’s day is drawing closer by the minute. Are you prepared both mentally and emotionally? If not, you definitely want to check this out. It’s time to show the love, and I’m feeling plenty of it! So much is going on, lots of events and opportunities to hear me share my dating expertise and get a reading.

Also, the fab private shopping designer discount site that is F-R-E-E to join Rue La La, is featuring the L.A.M.B line today. I’ve been thinking a lot about that darling diva Gwen Stefani lately, so I also have a few words about her to come in a future blog. But FIRST, let me tell you about my lil Dating Dowser Valentine’s Tour!

Tomorrow, February 5th from 1-7pm, I’ll be doing readings at the Romance is in the Air “Mini Fair” in Santa Clara. Simply click here, and then go to “Feb 5th Mini Fair Exhibitors,” and you can see the line up of photos and bios of who will be there, and get directions.

On Thursday, February 10th from 6-8pm, I’ll be teaching a class at Preston Wynne Day Spa in Saratoga, CA. The class is called 3 Keys to Tap Into Your Intuition and Make Dating Fun Again! I’m going to walk you through finding what’s blocking you from creating the relationship you desire, and give you practical tips to get there faster. You can read more and register for the evening here.

Preston Wynne is also featuring my readings in their Valentine’s Packages! You can get a discounted hour session with yours truly when you buy a sexy service bundle that also includes things like massage and pedicure.  Yum. Give them a call or drop them a line to find out more.

On Saturday February 12th, from about 5-9pm I will be giving FREE Dating Dowser mini readings at Saffron and Genevieve in Santa Cruz for their ultra-fabulous Valentine’s Event and Trunk Show. If you know me, you know that I am obsessed with this interiors and antiques store that oozes charm and originality.  I’m so thrilled to be a part of their event!  Become a Saff & Gen Facebook Fan so you’ll get all the details. Directions and maps are under Info.

A new top-secret chance to get a reading from me will be coming up at Idle Hands, the other hottest shop in Santa Cruz. Nothing’s final, but I may be there February 27th. Save the date just in case ; -) You can “Like” them too, and see their house line Bandit Brand here!

Come out to any and all events! Stalk me, it’s cool. (No, not really stalking is SO not cool. But super-fanness is all right by me). Can’t wait! Go ahead and make it official by hitting Like on my page. Help me get to 100 by Valentine’s. You rock.

Also, did you know that I will answer dating advice questions through this blog? I will! Valentine’s is a time a lot of people want support, or want to know why it could be that they don’t have the love they are looking for. Ask me anything. I’ll see what I can do.

xo

Okay, I pried myself away from Facebook and perusing super hot designer deals on Rue La La, to write you this special blog, so you better listen up.

So much has been going on, and so many awesome opportunities have been coming my way personally and for my business, that sometimes I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. But it certainly has gotten me thinking about abundance–how to bring it in and what the heck to do with it when it comes.

On my recent drive to and from Los Angeles, I listened to the audio version of Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money-That the Poor and the Middle Class Do Not! by Robert T. Kiyosaki. It gave me so much inspiration for building real wealth and creating a “rich” mentality for myself. I also realized that there were a lot great ideas that crossed over to one’s love life.

Energetically speaking, love and abundance both share a very high vibration. The the ability to be open and freely give your gifts to the world around you both comes from a place of love and abundance, and generates those qualities in your life. It’s an endless feedback loop of awesomeness. Abraham-Hicks calls this Getting Into The Vortex.

But god knows, living day to day with contrast, “learning experiences,” and just a smidge of resistance here and there, it can be a challenge to get to that place. That’s why I want to talk about the importance of creating structure and support around your love life.

First and foremost, hand-pick the friends that you share with about your successes and stumblings along your path to crazy-free, delightful dating and spiritual soul mate manifestation. No frenemies allowed! When those who don’t support you or share your vision of love and relationship ask, feel free to glaze over the topic with lines like, “Yea, it’s going great. Nothing serious yet, though…” And slyly shift the subject elsewhere. “OMG, where did you get those cute shoes??” is a good ol’ standby for this.

What if you don’t have the kinds of friends that can really “get it” and support you? Well, girlfriend, you can buy one for just five dollars. Really! My amazing friend and personal coach Noga offers a service on Fiverr where she will meditate on your love life to give you that quantum boost you seek. Even if you have the most loving besties in the world, it’s still a crazy-good value from a master manifestor!

Yes, Noga really meditates for you, and people get real results. She ALSO will meditate on your abundance! Just scroll down the page to check out the incredible feed back people have given and the results they experienced.

Once you have some kick-ass support around you to hold your vision of dating and relationship, you’ll want to create some structure to ensure that you keep moving forward and expanding. I recommend going to your calendar or day planner now and putting in items like, “create online dating account,” “contact Claire for a Dating Dowser Reading,” or “dress up and hit the town.” Use your awesome support to hold you accountable for doing these things.

A truly fabulous way to create structure is signing up for a free Telesummit. I am SO excited about The Ultimate Soulmate Summit. This event was created by the authors of Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life, and features some of my very favourite experts in the field of love and relationships. It’s like signing up for a free class you can take through your computer at home (or wherever) and create a weekly structure of inspiration and wisdom from masters like Katie & Gay Hendricks, Arielle Ford, and Dr. Pat Allen. Find out more and register HERE.

The simple act of focusing your energy on calling in Love-n-Abundance can move things forward fast. Let me know what happens, and stay tuned for Part 2!

xo

Guess what! I will be leading a workshop called “3 Keys to Tap into Your Intuition & Make Dating Fun Again!” at Preston Wynne Spa in Saratoga. Save the date: Thursday, February 10th, 6-8pm. More details to follow soon. It’s going to be an awesome evening with lots of practical tips you can apply right away.

Well, January is fast speeding to its own demise. I’m feeling the nagging need to remind you of your resolutions, if you made them. I only formally made one (a refreshing break from the whoppin’ TEN I made for 2010), which I mentioned in my last last tip for Happy Holi-Dating. That resolution was to make this year as chock-a-block with fabulous, feminine personal pleasure as I possibly can. Of course “Wearing more kaftans…” and “Thinking outside the boot,” are close runners up, and never far from my thoughts.

If you didn’t make up resolutions for yourself, please don’t hesitate to steal mine or a smattering from Chloe, even. The whole pleasure thing is working out pretty well for me, I must say. Dancing my way to a hot bod is also an important part of that. I find that stress, overwhelm and the occasional bout of anhedonia come and go in life unbidden and without the slightest bit of effort. So focusing on finding and generating pleasure and enjoyment are really the necessary focuses here.

I’ve been working really hard to build my business, create the love relationship I want in my life, and of course, studying hard at how to work less and live more, as well as understanding “The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex.” But still I’m getting asked out on dates left and right (which I assure you wasn’t the case before I began applying intuition and self-love liberally to my life). And I still managed to find myself in the middle of a Monday afternoon, seated at the lovely outdoor portion of Chocolate cafe` downtown, enjoying a hot coca made with dark chocolate and coconut milk with one of my bestest friends in the world, Sushila, and admiring the flowers and moss-covered stone fountain in the sun. At some point the bells rang in my head, ding-ding! PLEASURE. Here it is.

And that was after walking West Cliff in the sun for our Accountability Buddy meeting, whilst surrounded by more hot surfer ass in neoprene than you could shake a stick at. …Not to be a manizer or anything. Mad respekt surfers, mad respekt.

Why not challenge yourself this week to identify and savor pleasure when it comes your way? Tease it out like the beehive on your Bumpit and celebrate your own coolness for knowing pleasure when it slaps you in the face. Not everyone shares that privilege!

xo

I woke up for the first time in my new room in Santa Cruz. The space was totally bare aside from the sleeping bag I was sleeping on and my two suit cases. The day before, I had landed at the San Jose airport with those suit cases (matching, Ralph Lauren) and my African Violet that I had hand-carried cross country. My new roommate, a friend of a friend that I barely knew, picked me up, and I commenced my new life in California.

I chose to leave Williamsburg, Brooklyn, my home of 6 years, because the previous summer, I had visited my dear life-long friend Joye and her newborn baby in Bonny Doon.  On that visit, I noticed that I felt fantastic, and I noticed that people in Santa Cruz seemed to somehow miraculously work less and stress less than people in NYC, and have an equal or greater quality of life. (If you want to know more about getting in on THAT I suggest both Everett Bogue’s Blog and Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Workweek. You may also want to look into a hiring a Purpose-Based Business Coach). So, I thought it would behoove me to move here in January of 2008, and it did.

If you live here, or have even visited Santa Cruz, you may have noticed that it is a fertile ground for seeds of any spiritual or metaphysical nature. Since I didn’t have many friends, or even a job at first, I spent my time ravenously reading about those topics, and immersing myself in every way I could. My intuitive capacities and perceptions grew enormously, and my whole world view shifted to one of a greater perspective, and a more create-your-own-reality nature.

I was a lot more happy and healthy and relaxed person than I had been in Brooklyn, but I still found myself struggling with dating and relationships. After three different situations that started out with fiery passion and excitement and ended in familiar feelings of dejection and embarrassment, I noticed that changing coasts hadn’t done much for my ugly old habits in dating.

At that point I decided to do something about it, damn it, and switched my reading matter from planetary ascension to the likes of Why Men Love Bitches and The Rules. Note that I don’t link to these books, because I don’t think I actually recommend them, per se. I got a lot out of reading them and trying to implement the rigid and exacting techniques they laid out. But I also really drove myself crazy with it. And if there is one thing I want for myself, and want for my readers and clients… it is to NOT BE CRAZY in love and dating.

That is the message. That is the purpose of connecting to one’s intuition, one’s inner knowing and doing whatever it takes to stay in alignment with your own sense of self-love and self-worth–Not Being Crazy, and not suffering needlessly. Isn’t that what the Buddha himself was all about?

I thought a lot about this as I was reflecting on the trajectory of my three years in Santa Cruz that lead me start this blog and offer readings. I wish that I could say that I attained a golden halo of enlightened awesomeness and a lotus pouf in the last three years, and was never ever again subject to a case of the dating crazies. But recently and unceremoniously it was brought to my attention that I’m still human and not perfect (Eww!) and life and love, and loving life are all continual processes, that require tending to. And then I cried because I felt sorry for myself. Ha!

It’s silly, but it did help me to remember that if I need the message of intuition instead of insanity and self-care instead of crazies this much after all the time and effort I’ve put in… someone else probably needs that message too. Hopefully that someone just read this blog.

xo